And It Was Wrong

It Was My Fault.

That's what I keep telling myself. It's what I still believe. I trusted him, fell for him, lied to my own head and heart about him... I was only 16, and he was a year older than me, that idea flattered and thrilled me to have an older, semi-popular boy interested in me. If I could, I'd go back and smack the young, foolish me upside the head and tell her to run from him as fast as she could... Of course, it all started innocently as these things usually go, and ended just as quickly. Those three months were the longest I had ever been through. I just saw him occasionally around my new school, he didn't stand out ...

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No Probable Cause

I met my predator through my college roommate. He came and stayed at our apartment for Cinco De Mayo. That night my roommate got very upset with me about something and left. Me and her “friend” hooked up. I was drunk, he was drunk, it was consensual. I didn’t hear anything from this guy until after graduation and I had already written him off as a one night fling. I moved to our state capitol and started Grad-school. At some point he sent me a face-book message. “I see you are in town. We should hang out” I was lonely and in a new place so I thought sure why not. We hung out a few times and eventually started ...

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He never thought of himself as a rapist.

Men abusing women was commonplace in my family. It was something I witnessed and experienced from the time I was very young. I entered adolescence with a lot of angst in regards to feeling loved, wanted, and protected. Like many young people, I ran as quickly as I could, at the age of 14, into the same type of relationship that I had grown up in. I ended up with a young man named Michael from a very broken background who acted out similar, abusive, controlling behavior to what I was used to. I thought that was love. After having my first sexual experiences and a full year of abuse and control at his hands, he ended the relationship. It ...

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Took the only safe space I had.

We had met on a popular online forum. We had bonded over the course of a few months, with no real red flags. Finally, we met each other (and it turned out we only lived an hour away). When we started dating, he introduced me to drugs and alcohol. His best friend was always around, and one night, he coerced me into drinking to "keep up with him," but I soon blacked out. We had discussed my discomfort of having intoxicated sex, and he said he wouldn't. When I woke up, I had a shooting pain in my lower rear body, and there was blood. When I asked him what happened, he said "Nothing, you went to sleep." Later that ...

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