And It Was Wrong

It's important to be passive and polite

When I was young, maybe 11 years old, my aunt’s second husband used to touch me inappropriately. Once, at a family gathering, while we were waiting for dinner to be served, he asked me if I wanted a back rub. Sure, why not? Who doesn’t want a back rub? So, in front of everyone, he rubbed my back. It was all very innocent. It felt good. Still, I was slightly uneasy but he was always rubbing my aunt’s back, so it must be OK, right? But then it progressed, quite naturally, it seemed. Now at these functions he always seemed to end up next to me on the couch, or in the kitchen. Sometimes he would sit next to me ...

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It Was My Fault.

That's what I keep telling myself. It's what I still believe. I trusted him, fell for him, lied to my own head and heart about him... I was only 16, and he was a year older than me, that idea flattered and thrilled me to have an older, semi-popular boy interested in me. If I could, I'd go back and smack the young, foolish me upside the head and tell her to run from him as fast as she could... Of course, it all started innocently as these things usually go, and ended just as quickly. Those three months were the longest I had ever been through. I just saw him occasionally around my new school, he didn't stand out ...

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No Probable Cause

I met my predator through my college roommate. He came and stayed at our apartment for Cinco De Mayo. That night my roommate got very upset with me about something and left. Me and her “friend” hooked up. I was drunk, he was drunk, it was consensual. I didn’t hear anything from this guy until after graduation and I had already written him off as a one night fling. I moved to our state capitol and started Grad-school. At some point he sent me a face-book message. “I see you are in town. We should hang out” I was lonely and in a new place so I thought sure why not. We hung out a few times and eventually started ...

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He never thought of himself as a rapist.

Men abusing women was commonplace in my family. It was something I witnessed and experienced from the time I was very young. I entered adolescence with a lot of angst in regards to feeling loved, wanted, and protected. Like many young people, I ran as quickly as I could, at the age of 14, into the same type of relationship that I had grown up in. I ended up with a young man named Michael from a very broken background who acted out similar, abusive, controlling behavior to what I was used to. I thought that was love. After having my first sexual experiences and a full year of abuse and control at his hands, he ended the relationship. It ...

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