And It Was Wrong

A letter about my abuser-

I should have been able to trust him. He shouldn't have hurt me. I wasn't able to understand. My body said yes, but my mind screamed no. I was scared into silence. Disclosure of what happened was difficult. He Raped me. He let his friends rape me. Sometimes I think about who I would be if all the abuse had never happened, and I've come to terms with what he did. I wouldn't be where I am today, I wouldn't have achieved what I have achieved, I wouldn't be able to help the people I can help. I would be an ignorant, clueless, lost person who thought the world was all rainbows and butterflies. Now I understand that there are ...

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3 Years Later: A Letter To My Abuser

Do you remember when we first met? How my best friend at the time told you about me and you decided to text me? Then we decided to meet at the pasta place just to hang out. I talked your ear off but you didn't seem to mind. We laughed a lot and at the end you hugged me and said you wanted to hang out again. I wish everyday that that day never happened. Perhaps we could've stayed strangers. Maybe we could've walked past each other that day and went our separate ways and we would've never known better. But you were so beautiful. You had those long curly brown locks that reminded me of a rockstar that I ...

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A Good Friend of Mine

I met this guy through a mutual friend. He had ended up moving to my apartment complex, so I got to know him a lot better. I had feelings for him, and I thought he felt the same. We spent almost everyday together for three months. We always flirted and played around with each other. He knew I was a virgin and wasn't ready to go all the way. It was Christmas Eve. My parents were out shopping. I told him to come over. We were messing around like always. Then all of a sudden his fingers went inside of me. I had never done that before. I told him to stop then he said "No I know you want ...

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8 Months to the Day

We were friends who liked to drink. But I was 34 and he was 38 so I knew that I was in the company of an adult and nothing bad could ever happen when two adults respected and trusted each other. The first time I slept with him, we were happy and drunk but it was consensual and casual and I had a good time. I think he did, too. Two weeks later, we were still friends who liked to drink. But it was Christmas Eve and I knew that nothing bad could ever happen because this was a holiday and we were adults who still respected and trusted each other. We had more happy, drunken, consensual sex that night ...

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