You knew better...
You knew better, and I think that's what gets me most. I have never told anyone about this, maybe because I felt like it was my fault or that if I had stood up more for my beliefs it wouldn't have happened, or maybe it's because you still sleep next to me every night.
We had stayed the night at a dear family friend's house. My dad was in the living room, his best friend, who was like my uncle, was just down the hall.
Everyone knew how "in love" we were but asked us not to "do anything" in their reading room. I had no intentions and I knew you would respect that. You have an older sister and always talk about how you respected and treated women different due to you being raised in a house full of women and your over all Southern attitude.
At least I thought I knew.
You acted like you were asleep and having a "sexy dream" as you put it, when you put your hands down my pants. I was trying to sleep and was very tired so I shoved your hand away. You rolled over and moaned like you were asleep. Then you tried again, this time I punched you in the arm. You "awoke" with a start asking me "What the Hell?" I told you to stop and you claimed you thought you were dreaming. I told you you were full of shit and rolled over trying to go to sleep.
I woke up hours later to you playing with me and urging me to grab you. I was tired and just wanted you to stop. After a while I simply said fuck-it and got on top of you. Maybe if I gave you what you wanted I could go to sleep. You came, I got off and went to the bathroom to clean up. when I got back you were fast asleep. I curled up, my back to you and tried to hide my shame.
You made me lie to my friends and family the next morning when they jokingly asked.
This isn't the first time you have coaxed me into doing something I really don't want to. Its wrong that you do this to me, it wrong that you claim to love me.
Its wrong that it will probably happen again and again until I can get you out of my bed.
Its was wrong for me to take your pathetic apology.
It was wrong, it is wrong and it will FOREVER be WRONG!!!