And It Was Wrong

Alcohol doesn't only affect the user

My step father was an alcoholic.

When my mom and I met him there seemed to be no warning signs. A month after he moved in with us, he began to drink heavily. I would hear my mother and him arguing and fighting all the time. She would cry every night, and it hurt me to have to hear it.

I fell asleep one night on the couch watching Ghost Adventures, and woke to something strange. Someone was touching me. I was so scared I couldn't move. I peed myself and began to shake a lot. My mind reeled, and I cried silently.

A week after my step father sexually assaulted me, he began to drink more and do drugs. He would lock himself in his room for hours. He continued to touch me, and it caused me to feel physical pain. I began to cut myself, and do drugs also. I thought that it would be the answer to all my problems but it isn't. Doing drugs doesn't solve anything. It makes things worse off for you in the end. I was in the hospital four times for attempted suicide, and two to get my stomach pumped.

I began to sleep with anyone who would have me because I had convinced myself I should do it, but know now that I shouldn't have.

I stopped the drugs a year later when I couldn't take my step father touching me anymore. It began to hurt worse, and worse, and I couldn't sleep anymore because I was afraid he would show up, and touch me again.
I finally told my mom, and she cried with me.

My step father went to prison for a while, but made bail. He is currently homeless, and relying on other people just to get a drink.

I have therapy three times a week. I am under heavy observation, and am trying desperately to forget what had happened. People say it gets easier, but for me, it hasn't. I'm still scared to even close my eyes.
My step father sexually abused me, and it was wrong.

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